Tag Archives: Women

Your Love Was Greater

There is a pain that is so deep it seems unreachable yet tangible, present yet so surreal, forgiven and yet still so grievous.

That pain will always be with me, at least this side of Heaven. Yes, I’m forgiven by God and I’ve forgiven myself but the pain, it never leaves, and I’m not sure I would want it to.

You see, it’s because of that pain that I’m able to love deeply, and to reach out to others who have endured their own painful past.

But because I’m forgiven my past is no longer a reminder of shame and guilt but a platform to lead others out of darkness and captivity into truth and freedom through Christ.

It’s because of Jesus and the pain He endured that I understand the cost of my salvation, a debt I could never repay. Those who have been forgiven much, love much.

My sin was great, Your love was greater. What a beautiful name it is. Jesus. 

We can’t change our past but we can give it to Him and when we do He gives us a message. We can't change our past but we can give it to Him and when we do He gives us a message. Click To Tweet

Tonight I had the house all to myself which is pretty rare so I chose to relax and watch October Baby, a movie very dear to my heart. I’ve seen it many times before but I feel as if I take something more from it each time I watch. It was this quote that stood out to me.

“Only in forgiveness can you be free…”

There’s a part of me that has struggled believing that I had a right to speak out against abortion because I’m a post-abortive woman.

I’ve used my voice to talk about my own pain but to be honest, I’ve worried that if I spoke out publicly against abortion that others would see me as a hypocrite.

But who better to speak out against the atrocities of war than the soldiers who have been on the frontlines – those wounded in body, mind and soul.

I’ve been on the frontlines and I’m telling you, it’s a place you do not want to be. It’s pure evil. And the physical pain cannot compare to the emotional soul-searing pain that endures. Please do not make the same choice that I and so very many others have made.

If you’ve already made that choice please do not feel condemned but know that what Jesus did on the cross was enough to cover your sin and mine.

Your debt was paid, you’ve already been forgiven. All you have to do is receive it and you will be free.

John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

Where Do We Go From Here?

Recently I reached a milestone birthday – the BIG 5 0 – and in the days since, I’ve also reached the conclusion that age really is just a number.

Those numbers arrived and departed quietly and without any effort just like any other day.

Just. Another. Day.

Day in and day out I accomplish what needs to be done, over and over without effort, without thought, without inspiration.

More and more I’ve come to realize just how disappointing that has been. (I hope you’re imagining the “time to make the donuts” guy)

I look around and see others setting goals and reaching them, celebrating their efforts.

And to be completely honest, I’m envious.

I’m envious of the women who put hours in at the gym and have much to show for their efforts.

I’m envious of the women whose words are being published in books and in articles being read all over the world.

I’m envious of the women who have used their God-given talents and started their own successful businesses.

I’m envious and I have absolutely NO right to be!

You see, they’ve put in the effort. They’ve set goals and they’ve worked hard to reach them. Here I am, day after day, just trudging along not making any effort, not setting any goals and most of all not realizing any dreams.

Oh I’ve made excuses…

I don’t have enough time. I’m too tired. I can’t afford it. I’m too old to start again. And actually a few of those are pretty valid excuses but not helpful if I want to get something I’ve never had, do something I’ve never done or be someone I’ve never been.

Excuses are a death sentence to dreams.Excuses are a death sentence to dreams. Click To Tweet

I’ve subscribed to the idea that selflessness is next to godliness but if I’m envious of what others are accomplishing, isn’t that a twisted form of false humility? (Yikes!)

In the same breath sacrificing self care, and self worth isn’t serving anyone well, and it certainly isn’t serving any good purpose.

Maybe some of you can relate. Maybe (like me) you feel like you’ve wasted a lot of precious time. But I believe there’s still hope for us.

So where do we go from here?

First and foremost we need to set some realistic goals.

Committing to several hours a day in the gym is not realistic (at least not for me) but thirty minutes a day doing something good for our health is doable, right?

Spending several hours a day writing may not be realistic but setting aside a few hours a week certainly should be. Getting it on our schedule is the hardest part but consistency will pay off in the end.

Continue reading Where Do We Go From Here?